• Live an authentic life; when we are true to ourselves and doing exactly what we want to do, we subconsciously trust that life would work out for us because hey, there can only be one us right? but when we are living a lie and trying to fit into a mold, then we are constantly watching to see if someone fits that mold better and this makes us compete and bring people down.
• Cultivate gratitude; Be thankful for everything you have and you won't have time to notice what others have that you don't.
• Positive self talk and mindset; Stay positive, affirm yourself and believe only the best about yourself. Don't compare yourself less or more favorable than others and you will be fine.
• Pursue your passion and expand your horizons; travel and if you can't, read a book. Try your best to make use of every skill and potential you have. The more you are growing, the less you have time to compete.
• Have faith in the God of abundance; we need to really believe that God has enough for us. If he isn't stingy with the essentials like air, sunlight etc, why should he not bless all men liberally.

So dears, go out there and sell your market, be so busy selling your market that you only notice me for business partnerships because you have no time to spoil mine. The sky is wide enough for all God's children.

On the Diva Lounge, we'll be talking about sleeping with the boss and I'm not talking about your superior in the office but I'm talking THE BOSS like the M.D, G.M and E.D etc, people with real power to influence.


I carried out a survey and people mentioned the following as advantages;

• Power; among your peers. Once people know you're sleeping with the boss, they try to be on your good sides. They start hailing you, being nice to you, etc. because they want you to put in a good word for them.

• Seeming untouchable; It will appear that you are untouchable because the final authority is always on your side. But please note the word seemingly.

•   Financial gains; a rich bobo will take care of you and because you have easy access to him, it's difficult for him to avoid you.

• Possible career advancement; people believe your name will be put on the promotion list every time but to be honest, sleeping with the boss opens your eyes to how management thinks and the best ways to behave to ensure career advancement.

 Below are some disadvantages;

• Your colleagues will not respect you; Let's be honest, the moment word gets around that you're sleeping with the boss especially if he's married, people loose respect for you. His peers might want to also try their luck while your peers will always view you in a negative light.

•  You are a pawn in office political tussles; Picture a scenario, a high performing executive you report to hates you and decides you should leave and your boo the director wants to back you up. This executive is a star and one the board cannot afford to loose, she looks at your boo directly during a board meeting and asks 'I head the team and know she is an under performer. Is there any particular reason you are defending her?'. Everyone in the room knows about the affair (since in reality, affairs are never secret) and so your boo has to save his face and reputation and keep quiet.

•  You loose your personal power; you will never be sure if you earned that promotion or if your bottom power got it for you. You will never trust your ability to advance in your career by learning technical, emotional and functional skills.

•  Your rep dies; did I hear someone say 'who rep epp' but really, I heard a successful woman say 'guard your reputation, there will always be someone who knew you when'.

My submission is that females need to be objective. There is need to understand the written and unwritten rules of every work environment. Make sure that you always have a plan and are in control of your career, write your own narrative and be the MD/CEO of your life. If you must sleep with the boss, do it for the money, get things from him that ensure that you can re-write your story. e.g, as a new intake, let him pay for an MBA in an Ivy league school, go there and top your class because all your expenses are catered for by oga. Get a job outside his industry and smartly end the relationship. That way you can re-write your story the way you want.

In all, we are smart women and we really don't need to spread our legs to get to the top. In fact I think the phrase is 'f***ng your way to the middle' because only brains and political savvy gets you to the top.

It's common to hear people whining that good girls suffer and the bad girls get the good men. I've thought about this and I have outlined some reasons why it seems good girls suffer;

1. They think their being good shields them from suffering; the truth of the matter is that EVERYBODY hurts and bad things happen to everyone, good, bad, beautiful and ugly. Good girls sometimes believe that they are to be shielded from suffering and hence they exaggerate the pain that comes with whatever comes with their bad experiences.
2. They find it difficult to let go; you see good girls clinging on, trying to show their good sides, believeing that their perseverance wins. You see them relieving past hurts, heartbreaks, etc. when they can easily just move on which is what the badoski's do. They move on.
3. They constantly try to prove a point; they don't allow themselves be and experience life. They do everything to protect their goodness and sometimes they rub this goodness in your face. This is just as annoying as people that are fake and form.
4. They bring nothing else to the table apart from their 'goodness'; Social skills, a deep sense of humor and fun, etc - being good doesn't guarantee that people will like you or want to be in your presence if you don't have these. You have to find your 'it' factor, hone it and make yourself someone others will want to spend time with.
5. They don't understand men; Listen, if you don't know a thing, you will keep failing at it. It is essential that females understand themselves and men. If a guy is a bad boy, no need to think your goodness can change him, just leave him alone and keep loving yourself and enjoying your life untill someone that will sweep you off your feet and worship the ground you walk on finds you. Sometimes, the bad girls have been through so much that they decide that they will not end up with a bad man who won't treat them well. These bad boys make up their minds to marry a good girl that they can keep at home while stepping out of the home front periodically.
6. They lie to themselves and live vicariously through bad boys;  Some good girls are not true to themselves, they haven't allowed themselves to evolve, they want to experience life but they are trapped by a self imposed prison. Hence, they are attracted to bad boys through whom they live vicariously.
7. Good boys live vicariously through bad girls; take point six above and flip it.
8. It is a lie; Good girls do not suffer anymore than bad girls. I've seen good girls extremely fortunate in love and I've seen good girls that fate has dealt a hard hand in love. The same goes for bad girls.

In conclusion, I believe we all should be true to ourselves, exploring life and developing all our potential. Live, laugh, dress up, go out on dates, learn the rules of love and dating and if bad things come your way, walk out of it, cry and move on refusing to stay bitter and above all trust that God loves you and he's got you.

Happiness is a choice and one we make deliberately. It has a way of opening doors for us while unhappiness has a way of blocking blessings from our life. We all want to be happy but sometimes make decisions and live our lives in ways that only guarantee our unhappiness.

Below are some characters guaranteed to make you unhappy;

• Gossip; this is spreading malicious stories; whether true or untrue about someone. Sometimes, people gossip to feel like part of a community, feel powerful because they are part of the 'in crowd' or have the ability of making/marring someone. But gossip does have lots of negative effects on you. For one, it keeps you second guessing yourself, if you are one to always talk about others, you will be overtly concerned with what others say about you and thus you give people's opinions too much power over you (regardless of how much you want to disbelieve this). Also how will you manage the two faced thing; saying negative things about someone while smiling to their face.

• Be ungrateful and refuse to count your small blessings; Why be thankful you have a degree when you struggled through school, why be thankful you have a job when your mates are earning better?. If you are someone with this mindset of ingratitude, you will never be happy because no matter what you have, there will always be something you want that you don't have.

• Don't forgive yourself and others; Spend each night replaying images of every slight real and imagined done to you and every mistake you have made. Feel the emotions as vividly as possible and convince yourself that you are hated and the elements must be against you. This is one sure way to guarantee unhappiness in life. 

• Hold on to the past; failures, successes etc. you can keep remembering past failures or reminiscing on the good old days that you forget to enjoy the present moment and only wish for the good old days.                                                                                                                                                           
• Be selfish and concerned only about yourself; don't give out, don't care about others, only be concerned about you and you are sure to be a very unhappy person.                                                              
• Live a lie; don't be true to yourself and be honest about your needs and wants, be concerned about keeping up with the Joneses and Adekunles and trying to impress only even it means you telling yourself a huge lie and you are in for an unhappy time.                                                                                    
• Don't follow your passions or take calculated risks; always try to be safe and you'll end up a person bitter and jealous of others who lived their dreams and did the best they could.                                              
• Don't stay in your own lane; be more concerned about other people. Talk about them, judge them criticize them, compare yourself with them. Even though they are minding their business and living the best way they can. Just spend time focusing on others and you are sure to be very unhappy.                                    

So guys, there you have it. Eight sure ways to live a very unhappy life. 

I hope you do the exact opposite and have a very happy life.