The valentine craze is over and we can now breathe a sigh of relief.

Being single during the valentine season is especially difficulte especially as you get older.

The concept of self love has been developed and propagated in recent times. And indeed, self love is extremely important as it is the foundation of our experiences and human interaction.

While a group of single sisters were discussing this concept of self love, someone mentioned that 'married women or women in healthy loving relationships had higher chances of success than their single counterparts'.

This sparked an argument that led to us googling the validity of the statement and we found out that it is indeed true that healthy relationships help women thrive in their endeavors.

According to certain publications found online, women in committed and loving relationships have higher chances of success than their single counterparts and the following reasons were given;

• Marriage helps you develop skills like negotiating, influence etc. necessary for success in the workplace and business.
• Marriage keeps you focused; because you're not constantly thinking about your love life.
• People in loving relationships are generally happier and healthier;  as they have emotional support and someone who pushes them to stay healthy.
• Combined social and financial capital is available to the married people.

There were also publications that stated that being single makes you more successful and some of the reasons for this are;

• More time to focus on dreams and ambitions
• Less stress due to marital/relationship issues
• Less dependencies to consider when taking opportunities.

My conclusion is that we should love ourselves and make the best of whatever phase in life we are in. Loving someone and being loved in return is a beautiful thing and being single is also beautiful. We need to be honest with ourselves; if we want a loving relationship then we should go for it being honest with potential partners about who we are and what our aspirations are.

How many times have we heard people make statements like this?

My boss hates me cos I'm smarter than he is.

My boss hates me cos I'm more beautiful than she is

My boss hates me cos people like me more......

There are a lot of reasons people give for their boss hating on/picking on them. In a fair world, people will be professional and act properly but then, we live in the real world and people hate people, pick on people, etc.

How then do we handle a situation where the boss hates us:

• Objectively look at the situation: Ask yourself if you contribute to the hatred in anyway? Do you rub your smartness in the face of the boss, are you blindly opinionated. etc. Be honest with yourself and if you do any of the points mentioned, make genuine steps to change not only for this job but to make you a better person. 
• Cultivate positive, healthy relationships in the work place; cultivate allies, make friends that love you for who you are across all levels. This is not for political reasons, but rather to have enough positive energy to  counteract the negative vibes from your boss.
• Stay calm and trust yourself; approach the situation as a student faced with a new subject. Maybe this is the first time you are experiencing such hate but you need to stay calm and convince yourself that you will ride the wave and come out better. Staying calm also prevents the boss from making you look bad.
• Don't moan, complain or bitch about the boss; Your boss is possibly bad mouthing you and even if she isn't, people have noticed the maltreatment right? However, while it may be easy to complain and play the pity party, victims are not powerful. If you must complain, do it officially to HR but stay clear off the petty road, your boss is probably doing that, so take the high road.
• Practice Gratitude; Make a list of the good things in your life and career and be thankful for them.
• Plan your next moves; Calmly decide what you want to do after careful thinking. This will help you feel like you're in charge of your life. 
• Exit gracefully; If you do get another job, make sure you exit gracefully. Be nice and friendly till the end. During the exit interview, the reason for leaving is 'career advancement' There is no need to badmouth the boss or anyone else.
• Pray; This should actually be the 1st thing to do. You're praying not for God to take the situation away but for him to give you guidance and the strength to follow through.

A lot of us attended BAAD 2017 online via our mobile devices. From the surprise engagement to the lovely dovey in between and finally to the wedding that held us spellbound for 2 weekends.

We took a poll and here are some reactions most people had to BAAD 2017;

• Aww, this is so sweet; Susu is such a lovely bride and buba seems as romantic as they come.
• Wow, fashion on point
• Okay, are we still on this: At a point, some of our readers admitted to getting a bit overwhelmed with it all.
• It's okay oooh; e don do, you're a sweet couple we know.
• I thought they wanted their relationship private; what's all the noise now.
• When will le boo pop the question; some of our female readers polled said they felt this way. We hope for their sakes that the BAAD 2017 inspires some brothers to pop the question.

We wish Banky and Adesua the best as they start their new life together.

Follow this link   to participate in the Biggest sale of the year is here!!!!! It's Jumia black Friday and it's time to purchase gift items at very low prices. Phones, Appliances, clothing and lots more.

Hurry because this year Christmas came early.

1. Create a connection first; Get people to know you and like you. While you don't have to sleep with them, create an emotional connection.
2. Be goal oriented but interested in others; While Delilah's goal was to get Samson's secret, she got close to him first and made him believe she liked him for who he was.
3. Be pleasantly persistent; You must keep asking in a way that is appealing. This is tricky as there is a very thin line above which persistence becomes a source of irritation.
4. Handle rejections gracefully; Samson lied to Delilah a couple of times but she handled each rejection gracefully.

While many do not approve of what Delilah did, the lessons learnt from her story can work for us.

Strengths are the areas in which we do well and most times, they have served us perfectly.

However, there are certain times our strengths become weaknesses.

Maybe growing up we are applauded for being smart, outspoken, bold and daring and they have served us well but as we begin to experience life, a different 'us' is demanded. This can be a trying time but it is definitely a most defining time. How we respond to this period will determine if we move forward or stay stuck. We can choose to grow, evolve and become better or we can stay defending habits that no longer serve us positively.

We all know that one person considered most likely to succeed who made a huge mess of things in their lives.

In order to ensure that our strengths do not become weakness, we need to do the following;

• Do a SWOT analysis of ourselves and celebrate ourselves; yes, it is important to know yourself and be grateful for every strength and seeming weakness that you have.
• Develop situational awareness; a close friend likes to call it 'Village sense' which is the ability to look at situations realistically and make accurate judgement calls.
• Adjust yourself to suit the situation; sit down, be humble! yes, the reasonable person adapts to suit the situation while the unreasonable person forces the world to adapt to him. Listen to life when it tries to teach you so you don't keep repeating the same mistakes.

 Remember,

We've all experienced these scenarios;

• Someone is talkative, obnoxious and badly behaved and you're told ignore because they are being themselves.
• Someone doesn't take the time to appear neat and present themselves properly but again, they are being themselves. 
• Someone acts in generally not so acceptable ways and they are being themselves.

I am a firm believer that people should be themselves but then if we are made in the image of God for a purpose, then an annoying, obnoxious, indiscipline person isn't the 'self' that we are. It is a bad side of the wonderful masterpiece that God has created and we should reject.

If we talk a lot, then we need to cultivate the art of listening and empathy so that we can give the right response. If we really aren't the dressy type, then we can at least ensure that we are neat.

God has created us to be so much more so the rule is 'BE YOUR BEST SELF'

Offices are very interesting places and as different as our faces and fingerprints are, so do we find different personalities in an office. The various office personalities are;

• The favored ones; These ones are referred to as favored because they get the promotions and perks for seemingly not doing anything. Sometimes, these people are kiss asses/sycophants but more often that not, they are people with a knack for figuring out exactly what needs to be done and working smartly to achieve this hence they come across as 'favored', 'lucky' etc. To be fair to their colleagues sometimes, these people are just in the right place at the right time.
• The 'unlucky' ones; these ones work hard, do everything right and yet they can't seem to get ahead. It's like there's a mark on their head that says 'do not promote them'. Sometimes, these people are working hard at the wrong things, sometimes, they might have made some political mistakes and sometimes, it is just not time. Life happens even to the best of us. If you find yourself in such a situation, it is best to stay grateful and happy while looking out for other opportunities. Remind yourself constantly that you are not a victim.
• The Model employee; If work was high school, these ones would be the prefects. They are model staff in that they wear the right clothes, treat everyone with respect that's also reciprocated to them, have tremendous influence that they don't need to shout to get things done because people love to do things for them. With these people, you admire them, learn from them but never let them make you feel inferior because frankly, they weren't built in a day.
• The clueless ones; These one have no idea what's going on either by choice or fate. They come across as people who show up at work just because they don't want to be idle. It's easy to write off these ones but be careful because they might have side gigs they are working on, like that employee who leaves and becomes a major fashion designer.
• The ones who came for the food; While this is far fetched, some co-workers disappear when there is work to be done and magically appear when it's lunch or fun time. Just ignore these ones, they'll get what's coming to them.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on the many personalities in a work place.

Nigerians are noted for our tendency to offer advice - whether you like it or not. We do not mind our business oh and this is because we are interested in the lives of others - to be honest, it is not necessarily because we have your best interest at heart.

However, here are guidelines to follow before you take advice from anyone:

•  Know who the person is; You need to know a person well, their intentions, motives and who they are in general. Are they hateful people, good people, people who have or do not have a mind of their own? It is essential that we know the people that are offering advice to us.                         
• Evaluate your relationship with this person; Family is extremely concerned about your life. Friends are concerned about your life. With friends and family, they are also concerned about their reputations because your behavior and how you eventually turn out is linked to their life. Now you understand why family and friends may be extremely skeptical about you taking risks. With family and close friends, there is also confirmation bias hence they may be blinded to the ways you've grown/changed. That's why words from a random stranger can be insightful.
• Evaluate what this person stands to gain/lose from your life; A guy who's asking a teenage girl out and telling her to grow up/loosen up wants to have fun with his youth. Her brother fighting the guy is protecting his sister. A boss asking you to stay on his team might wants to make career and business growth.
• Has the person earned critic rights; Regardless of how a person fares in the points raised above, critic/advise rights have to be earned and this can be done in two ways;
• By succeeding; It's funny to see poor people advising the rich on how to handle their finances or people who haven't succeeded in an aspect offering advice. While we should listen to everyone, it is important to note that 'wisdom is justified by her children'. 'physician heal thyself'.
•  By showing how much they care; The best advise should come from a place of love and genuine concern. Some people try to run us down and cover it up with the ever popular 'it's for your own good'.

 Regardless of how a person fares in the points above, it is essential to listen to everyone, reflect on every feedback received but most importantly, take our own decisions.

Because you survived seemingly tough situations and you keep growing and evolving everyday.

And to those of you in seemingly painful and tough situations, here is a reminder that this too shall pass.


Keep striving, you've got this. We are rooting for you.

Words to affirm yourself this week. We walk beside still waters, we are not broken.

Celebrate each scar, pain and wound. Not all Queens were born as princesses raised in palaces, some were made from ashes.

Eid is almost here and as a gift to our Muslim sisters, we will be sharing eid inspired outfits from Monday to Friday;

Look 1

For the boss chick. Black and white are the predominant tones with a touch of gold.

Look 3

Make a statement with this blazer. This is effortlessly simple and chick.

Look 4

 White and black with a touch of blue

Look 5

Dress down with this fun and flirty attire.

So Divas, which of these looks would you rock. I'd like to hear from you.

My 1st interaction with Karachi wasn't pleasant. I had dropped a comment about someone that she considered negative and she rebuked me deeply.

This is just one side of Karachi, unafraid to speak her mind and stand up for the truth.

Karachi is a woman of many parts;

• She is a teacher; and I mean this literally. she goes to school everyday to develop the minds of the young ones. A voyage into her Instagram handle will reveal how excited she is about her children and what they do. She makes teaching fun and sometimes I wish I could be a child again to sit in one of her classes.
• She is a creative genius; she and her husband are the brain behind the lovely series 'sons of the caliphate'. Karachi gives creativity a fun image.
• She is a God lover; Karachi is a singer in the church choir (Cliche; I know) but then she does this to show her love for God.
• She is a Person; Whole, warm, confident and lovely. Despite a seeming disability, Karachi is one person who lives life and loves fully.

 See below some pictures to give you a glimpse into the life of this multi-dimensional woman;

Seed Art work done by Karachi's pupils.






Karachi playing dress up for a school activity.
 


Karachi and Le hubs on the set of Sons of the Calipahte

 

Karachi is indeed a woman of many parts, a role model, God lover and our amazing crush for the week.

As we get into a new week, we celebrate our successes and appreciate every little growth. The goal is to be better than yesterday. We are queens choosing to excel not compete.

The world is waiting for us to showcase our best talents and live to our maximum potential. We do no one any justice when we dim our light in order to make others feel secure. Living your life to the fullest is your greatest gift to the world.

This week, play to live to your maximum potential.

As the week ends, take out time to celebrate your success and appreciate each growth milestone.