Today is the international day of self love, yes today, just one day before we go around showing our loved ones how much they mean to us, we are to take out time to love ourselves, spoil ourselves and pamper ourselves because we can only love others as we love ourselves.

We are treasures in earthen vessels and we owe it to our selves to pamper and care for these vessels that God has made us.

We also need to make sure that we are giving our best each day, using our potentials and gifts and taking advantage of every opportunity that comes our way cos truly that's the best way to love ourselves. Remember, the story of the talents, we multiply whatever talents we use..

Everyday we wake up, we are to give our best to the world making sure our insides are free of hatred, jealousy and bad behavior, taking care of our outsides so that we are our most beautiful version and developing our potential to the fullest.

It's the international day of self love and from this day forward, it's time to ask ourselves 'am I presenting my best self as a gift to the world?' I hope the answer to that question is always yes.

 It's 4 days to valentine and it's usually an emotional time. Gifts are given, there are the girls who get lovely gifts and admiration from their peers, those who get gifts they don't like, the ones who are single again, the guys with huge dents in their pockets and the side chicks waiting for the 15th.

We all agree that valentine's day is not just about the presents but let's be honest, getting wonderful presents that day give us a lovely feeling. Let's flash back to the presents we've received.

The bad like,

• A huge hamper and Cake; I had this delievered to me in the office and to be honest, I hated the gift. Yes it made the guys and girls ooh and ah and people talked about it for a while but I would have preferred money. Honestly, the cake was so huge, I shared it and a lot of it still remained and the hamper had lots of beautiful nothings like a Candy G-string.
• Flowers and a card; These are my worst presents for any occasion, not just because they are completely useless but also because they are completely cliche. Put some thought into it bro.

The good like;

• A trip; this was in the University, I had a fun date with my chiker at the time, we attended a concert with his friends and had alone time together. I enjoyed the experience a looot.
• Spa Vouchers; I had a voucher to spend time pampering myself and I enjoyed it.
• A hand crafted card; This was a very creative gift, it had my name crafted nicely with beads placed around each name. 

The ones in between ;like perfumes, wristwatches etc these presents don't stand out but are genuinely appreciated.

And then my best,

Money; When in doubt, transfer some money into my account.

Be intentional this valentine and state what you want before you get a really expensive flower;



 

Okay, you won't get her an Iphone 7 with N 100,000 but you can wow your woman this valentine without breaking the bank. These are ideas to give her a lovely valentine.

Book a lovely hotel; take advantage of the many valentine deals available like the ones on Jumia.

Set the mood; now that you've found a wonderful hotel, set the mood with lovely scented candles and fragrances. You can get these from scentifyng. See some of their wonderful products.

Play and Have fun; create a playful theme with some wonderful items like this.

Let her pick her gift; Rather than get it wrong and force the lady to pretend she loves her gift, allow her buy it herself. This year, get her a gift  card. You can get one from sure gifts. They have a wide array of suppliers across various industries; fashion, home appliances and even electricity.

So there you have it. A way to create the perfect valentine experience worth more than an Iphone 7 with 100,000 or less.

Love is in the little things and most times, it is the thought that counts.

Happy valentine's day and don't forget to share other gift ideas with us.

Details of gift items in post:
Jumia travels;https://travel.jumia.com/?redirect=1
Scentify; Instagram @scentifyng.
Lovely pillows; Instagram @Ofilispeaks
Gift cards; https://suregifts.com.ng//
 

We've all heard that everything we've ever wanted is on the other side of fear and while some of us think we believe it, most of actually don't.

When we hear this statement, our mind goes to the fear of facing our challenges and reaching towards a goal, few of think about the fear of authenticity, being true to ourselves.

Fitting in and social acceptance are things that every human being craves and so we grow up learning rules and regulations, deciding what is acceptable and what is not, trying too hard to fit in or stand out. We get to that point where we have so played the game of acting that we truly believe our act and loose ourselves in the process.

But the greatest gift we can give ourselves and indeed the world is the gift of authenticity, being honest with ourselves about who we are, our dreams, wants,likes and dislikes and in doing that, we not only fit in but stand out.

At the base of success is authenticity because we are honest with ourselves and the world around us, we can take a positive look at things and make decisions daily that affect us positively.

It's time to look into the mirror and ask ourselves if we have been afraid to be true to ourselves.

It's time to tell the world who we are.

Time to be divas, living on the other side of fear.


                                                      

I listened as you cried over the phone, you were hurting, you could take his philandering as the girls meant nothing but this was the height, he had fallen in love with  me, took me to weddings and gatherings you should be in, he introduced me to everyone who mattered.

You had seen my picture and I could pass for your younger sister, we looked exactly alike and you could tell that I wasn't just a girl, I was your mate, the second wife, the newer model.

You begged me, asking me to leave your husband so you could find peace but I just smiled because I knew you had forgotten, you could not remember -
afterall, you were the wife.

I had met Richard your husband when I was 25. He pursued me with everything he had but he didn't have to, I loved him the moment I saw him and he was a perfect gentleman too. When he told me he was 40, I asked why he was single and he said he hadn't found the one. I was in love, I was in heaven. He was wealthy but the money meant nothing, I loved him and felt safe. Everyone noticed the difference in me, I was more beautiful and had a glow from sexual and emotional satisfaction.

And then he became distant and told me I was too clingy, I thought he needed space till he told me he was married.

I was hurt and begged him to take everything he had given me but he told me he didn't want them. My heart was broken and I tried to move on. I called him one day crying and he gave you the phone, I cried, I felt ashamed, I was sorry, I wanted to return the gifts and feel some dignity about my foolishness, but you laughed at me, told me girls like me abound that you were the wife and I should never call again or you would disgrace me in my office. I told you to pick the gifts from me but you were blinded by a stupid territoriality, to defend a man who played both of us, how was I to know he was married, his social media pages held no trace. You refused empathy and chose to judge and I swore to hurt you because I knew that your defending him showed that he was your weakness.


Did I mentioned that your husband's betrayal broke something deep inside me?  I went from the girl who could never date a married man to the girl who had 3 in her life, all footing her bills, I didn't have to touch my salary. With these men I practiced what it took to keep a man, I perfected the art of getting men to do my bidding and I had them eating out of my fingers. This skill helped me move swiftly up the corporate ladder as while I didn't have office romances, I understood men and pushed their buttons to my advantage. The older I got, the sexier I became.

 I met Richard 3 years later, I was bolder, sexier and mature. I had my game plan and made sure he fell in love with me. When I saw you and I looked alike, I realized why he broke it up the first time, I was his spec and I got too close. So this time, I made sure he pursued me, he didn't know what hit him. He fell in love and began to beg for my attention as I had a lot of men around me.

When he was hooked, I pulled him away from you, I wanted to hear you cry and beg to save your dignity.

Today, I have gotten my victory, you are begging, pleading to keep a man that was never yours in the first place. Richard has other girls but he dares not flaunt them around me, he pretends to love me alone; he even told me he had stopped sleeping with you, this I know is a lie.

Let me tell how to treat a man like Richard, you have to be hot and sexy as well as comfortable in a sweatshirt, you have to make him beg you like a fool, Richard loves that, you have to speak to him nicely, lovingly and firmly and you have to stop loving him but make him feel like you do. Honestly, you'd burst an artery loving a guy like Richard.

I've gotten my victory, you can have him back but only before my pre-wedding photos get public. I'm getting married to someone your husband can't stand close to.

Before, you scream karma, your husband managed to make me heartless and now I only stay with men who worship the ground I walk on and if my husband cheats or falls in love with someone else, I'll take a walk. I'm not a weakling like you.

We would have avoided all these, if you had chosen empathy over judgement. If you had listened and made me know you understand. I'll give Richard back, just not yet.

These were the thoughts that ran through my mind as I listened to you crying but I could not tell you, instead I said to Richard, 'honey, someone is crying for you on the phone. Guess it's important.' I wanted you to hear him say 'no one can be as important as you'.

 I was happy, I had won but it was not a good victory, I had become a woman my mother would be ashamed of.

 My 1st crush was in primary 1. He was troublesome and teased me a lot. I fought him once and we became friends or something more. Turned out he was crushing on me too but oh well.

My next crush was in JSS3, I really liked this guy, he was buff and had a sense of humor. We eventually became very good friends. Did I say he was artistic as well.

I didn't have a crush untill my NYSC, there was this guy, wow, I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart literally skipped anytime he was around. The homosapien eventually said he always liked me but thought I was forming for him (Can you imagine, when all the girls knew I had a huge crush).

That NYSC guy remained my last crush untill last year. I had two huge crushes in succession but we just ended up as friends.

Valentine's day is just around the corner and I hope the single people won't spend the time reminiscing on the couldawouldshoulda. Go out there and have fun.

Let's throwback to our crushes and laugh at the emotions we felt.

Loving is its own reward.