The One thing that Makes you Ugly

When life makes you put up with mean and hateful people, think of them as sandpaper,
They make scratch you, rub you the wrong way,
But you're gonna end up polished,
while the sandpaper will just be worn out and ugly.

This was a scene from 'fighting temptations' that helped me navigate life situations. To be honest, when I started my career, I was bullied by 2 people; one was my project manager at the time and the other was a female who enjoyed putting people down. Because I come across as a bold and strong person naturally, I'm sure they would never know how much it got to me but this quote helped me stay strong, sane and loving while learning all I could.

But then, this writeup is not about how to stay strong in the face of bullying, it is actually directed at bullies, the sandpapers that polish and refine to make us the beautiful finished product that we were meant to be.

It's the 1st Monday in the month and it's time to ask ourselves if we scratch people, if we rub them the wrong way, if we make them feel so bad about themselves that they swear to get back at us by being the best they can be. I'm not referring to the tough love we give to friends and family that force them to be better, I'm talking about malicious behavior. We are sandpaper;

• When we enjoy making fun of people and putting them down; if you are that fellow that cracks a joke at the expense of others with the intent to make them feel bad. The kind of jokes that make a decent person not want to laugh because it's wrong.
• When we bully people and force a leadership position upon ourselves that no one gave to us; and I'm not talking about being an unspoken leader due to our skills. If you are that person in the office that no one wants to get on their bad side, it's not a sign that they love you, they just don't want to be insulted.
• When we gossip about the person who's trying to be better, who puts in the work, who is trying something new and instead of encouraging, we make jest and laugh at them maybe because their trying something new reminds us that we have been in the same spot for a long time.
• If we criticize management and leaders and have never successfully led anything.
• When we judge and make ourselves masters of other people's lives without any empathy for their situation.
• If people excel when they are no longer with us, becoming better people, that is enough proof.

A display of one or more of the characteristics above show that you are Sandpaper; scratching people, rubbing them the wrong way to reveal a part of themselves so beautiful you are ashamed for putting them down in the 1st place.

Rather that be sandpaper, you can be iron, making people better by rubbing off your good sides on them while being blessed by their good sides. Remember that if we choose to be sandpaper, we will end up worn out and ugly.

Have a lovely month ahead and make it a choice to be your best self.