Da Work Diva

WCW; Woman, be your own Motivation

5:21 PM
By Unknown
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The One thing that Makes you Ugly

9:41 AM
By Unknown
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When life makes you put up with mean and hateful people, think of them as sandpaper,
They make scratch you, rub you the wrong way,
But you're gonna end up polished,
while the sandpaper will just be worn out and ugly.

This was a scene from 'fighting temptations' that helped me navigate life situations. To be honest, when I started my career, I was bullied by 2 people; one was my project manager at the time and the other was a female who enjoyed putting people down. Because I come across as a bold and strong person naturally, I'm sure they would never know how much it got to me but this quote helped me stay strong, sane and loving while learning all I could.

But then, this writeup is not about how to stay strong in the face of bullying, it is actually directed at bullies, the sandpapers that polish and refine to make us the beautiful finished product that we were meant to be.

It's the 1st Monday in the month and it's time to ask ourselves if we scratch people, if we rub them the wrong way, if we make them feel so bad about themselves that they swear to get back at us by being the best they can be. I'm not referring to the tough love we give to friends and family that force them to be better, I'm talking about malicious behavior. We are sandpaper;

When we enjoy making fun of people and putting them down; if you are that fellow that cracks a joke at the expense of others with the intent to make them feel bad. The kind of jokes that make a decent person not want to laugh because it's wrong.
When we bully people and force a leadership position upon ourselves that no one gave to us; and I'm not talking about being an unspoken leader due to our skills. If you are that person in the office that no one wants to get on their bad side, it's not a sign that they love you, they just don't want to be insulted.
When we gossip about the person who's trying to be better, who puts in the work, who is trying something new and instead of encouraging, we make jest and laugh at them maybe because their trying something new reminds us that we have been in the same spot for a long time.
If we criticize management and leaders and have never successfully led anything.
When we judge and make ourselves masters of other people's lives without any empathy for their situation.
If people excel when they are no longer with us, becoming better people, that is enough proof.

A display of one or more of the characteristics above show that you are Sandpaper; scratching people, rubbing them the wrong way to reveal a part of themselves so beautiful you are ashamed for putting them down in the 1st place.

Rather that be sandpaper, you can be iron, making people better by rubbing off your good sides on them while being blessed by their good sides. Remember that if we choose to be sandpaper, we will end up worn out and ugly.

Have a lovely month ahead and make it a choice to be your best self.

The Diva lounge:Help!!! My colleague has hygeine issues

7:42 PM
By Unknown
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Winners have emerged

7:23 PM
By Unknown
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Why I hated the Virtous woman and four others

12:49 PM
By Unknown
2 Comments

How many of us have seen this woman, the woman we all cannot stand, the one we all tried to be and couldn't be and so we responded by hating her because hate in itself is a form of defense. I have been that girl and for me, there was;

The woman who was 'mysterious'; She had this thing about her that made guys instinctively follow her. She had guys eating out of her fingers. She was 'Anne Boleyn' in Tudors, she was the face that could launch a thousand Ships. I hated this woman because I had never met her. She was either in a movie or someone knew someone that knew someone that knew her- I felt at least if I could meet her, I could learn from her what make her tick and so because I couldn't be her and even be around her to learn from her, I hated her, with everything I had.
The woman who was 'different'; She wasn't like every other girl, she was the type to turn a playboy into a dedicated husband. Oh, this different woman could tame a bad boy and when men came in contact with her, they went on about her 'different' she was, not like every other girl. She had never been played, never been stood up, whatever we common females complained about, she had never experienced. I hated this woman because she put me in a trap, I tried so hard to be different and truly, I was often described as such and lost out on the opportunity to me. So instead of living and just being me, I became a robot trying hard to attain the title of 'different'.
The woman who had it all; To be honest, I did not hate this woman because I believed I could be her. She had everything, beauty, a successful career, a well adjusted home etc. She was the type who became a CEO at 30 with degrees and lots of investment and property. I started out my career believeing I could be this woman with so much energy and love for the job, saving every penny and investing my money just to be this. This woman made my 25th birthday the worst. I felt like a failure on that day, haba all I had was a job and little investments my dad helped me with. I hadn't gotten any promotion and I did not see myself becoming a CEO at 30. And so, at 25, this woman became someone I could never be, a lie sold to me and I hated her for it. I had worked so hard to be her and I hadn't succeed.
The virtuous woman; Growing up, I saw women endure all forms of ill treatment just to be termed 'a virtuous woman' She was also an unrealistic standard to which all women were held. Haba, only her one all those attributes. I almost got to the point where I screamed, I don't want to be a virtuous woman oh, let me just be me. A synonym for the virtuous woman will be a woman with 'wife material'
The Me who hated these four women; I found out that I really didn't like the woman who hated the four women above because I hadn't found myself, I didn't know the woman I was. That woman was trapped in between trying to be and hating the four women above and so one day I decided to let go of hating and trying to be any of these women and I realized that I had always been the four women above;

I was mysterious because there will always be something about me no one understands besides a few people have described me as such, I was different because no one else was like me and by just being my best me, I brought something to the world no one else had to offer. While I did not have all I hoped to have, I learnt to be grateful and count my blessings, appreciating each step and falling in love with my journey, the woman who had it all was walking her own path and while I admired her, I was enjoying my own journey. As for the virtuous woman, I tell myself that the book of Proverbs was written by a man who had 1,000 women in his life so he too couldn't find her. I'll just spend each day being the best version of myself, striving for my goals and appreciating every blessing and everyday I wake up, I choose to be ME.